That Would Be Enough

At the beginning of the year, I told LG that if we sold this house and bought a new house and moved by the end of the year we could have another baby. (We’d discussed waiting a few years before even revisiting the idea of adding more to our little family). We got excited. We downloaded the apps, looked up listings, and watched out to see how much houses that had the same layout as ours sold for.

And then very quickly, the world jumped with both feet into a pandemic and LG was out of work. The silver lining is that he gets to be home with me and our little babes, during a time when the foundations of their minds and personalities are being built. Their hearts get to be so full, having him home. But the longer he was home, when month after month went by with no work; our plans for moving had to be put on the back burner (actually it’s more like we packed it up to store in the freezer, because it’s not looking like it’s going to happen any time soon).

I am quite aware that while LG and many others are out of work at the moment, others instead are working from home and adjusting to that new normal – but that still means income; and that means their lives and plans can keep moving forward. Enter social media. Pregnancy announcements, engagements, home renovations, buying a forever home, taking big steps to start something new. At first I felt happy and excited with them, but soon it was as if the news hammered into me that we were stuck.

You know what happened next? The housing market got hot. Homes similar to ours were being listed for $200k+ more than we bought it for 5 years ago. We got our hopes up again. Opened up those apps, kept our eyes open. (Another but coming…) But a hot sellers’ market meant that our options would be limited as buyers. Bidding wars and numerous offers on houses combined with our financial (uh, no work, sad finances even with the value of our home) situation made it so that we weren’t in a good position to go up against aggressive bids.

Sigh. Maybe we’d just move to the middle of no where. We’d get a big ol’ house with a whole lot of land for the price of a shack in our area now. We’re stuck.

I have said for a really long time, that what we have is enough. We have enough space in our little home, all squished together. We have enough money, even now with LG not working. We have enough to eat. We have enough to keep us comfortable. We have love, we have health, we each other.

I know we don’t need more.

When we started having babies, I knew that our space is enough. When my mother moved in with us, I knew that our space is still enough. When LG stopped working and we were all home all day every day in our little space, I still knew that would be enough. We have enough.

Wouldn’t it be nice though? To have one more room, a bigger living space? To have a beautiful kitchen? It would be so nice. My heart gets excited thinking about how our lives would be different with just a little bit more.

But we don’t need more.

We are satisfied. We are content. We are happy. We are alive.

“Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now” – Hamilton, 2015