I’ve struggled for a long with this intense need to please everyone. Even people who I don’t care about, people who don’t know who I am, people I see walking down the street (nvm, I don’t walk…) or in the grocery store – I want them to like me.
But, “what good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” (Mark 8:36).
I’ve always wanted others to think I’m so nice and sweet, to think I’m beautiful. I would get so heartbroken when I felt like I didn’t live up to other peoples standards. If my lifestyle didn’t match theirs, I’d have a deep sense of failure – why don’t I party like they do, why don’t I have the things they have, why don’t I care about the things they care about?
But what good is it?
In my disappointment with my life, me heart, my soul…I’ve turned from the only one who matters – the only one whose approval counts, whose attention I should be seeking.
I gave up who I am on the inside to try to fit into the world. For so long, I forgot what is important.
I have my God.
I have family.
I have love.
Love the one and hate the other.