I love Thanksgiving, even more so than Christmas I think. There are fewer expectations for this holiday – no extravagant decorations, no gift exchanges, no hassle (other than massive feasts). Thanksgiving is about family and being together and enjoying the unconditional love and support from the people you grew up with.
We try to schedule our Thanksgiving at least a month ahead of time to avoid conflicting dinner times. On my part, it worked out well this year – my mom on Saturday and my dad on Sunday; but F’s family was having dinner on Sunday too. We’re not married, we technically have no obligations to the other’s family. Oh well, I guess that’s how things go this year
Something felt off this year…
People are eating different foods. Not everyone was in attendance. We’re all growing up which means that school, university, and work are making us that much more tired and the evening ends so much earlier than usual.
And my grandmother.
She used to cook these feasts on her own with no help at all during the preparation, the cooking, and the clean-up. She would be so tired from cooking that she could hardly even eat and enjoy the food. This year, she isn’t cooking, she isn’t eating with us, she isn’t even here. It was so weird, so sad, so lacking. We each took a dish and tried our best to recreate it. Honestly, the food wasn’t that bad, pretty good even; but it is hard to believe that meals and gatherings without her will ever feel natural. I miss her.
To end, I am thankful.
For my family. Every Friday is reserved for dinner with my grandfather and my dad’s side of the family. We eat at home, we eat out, we eat together. There are such strong personalities there that they are always, always crashing and colliding and making a mess. Still, we find a way to laugh about it and shake it off and love each other. Famjams with my mom’s side are a must at least once every two months. If there is too much time in between, we all go through withdrawal. We cousins grew up together. Our dinners have had to change and adjust and miss some of us because of schooling and such, but we find a way back to each other to eat and laugh and play and be lazy and have our family counsels. My family is what keeps me stable. They are my constant.
For my mom and my sister. It has been hard since I became a grown up (when did that happen…it might actually still be happening), because of our different schedules we barely see each other anymore during the week. Then, when we do get to sit down together, it can either go really well or end with us retiring to our rooms in a huff and a puff. It doesn’t matter though – they are an extension of me, a part of me that I cannot be rid of and I cannot live without.
For my boyfriend. I can barely go 24 hours and not be close to him. He is so good to me and my family. My mother loves him, my grandfather loves him…I’ll stop; don’t wanna make all the people of the internet have their eyes roll too far to the back of their heads…we can save that for a completely separate post ;p
For my friends. I don’t have many, but I am thankful for the ones I do have. We have the weirdest relationship and past, but it works for us (A). They understand me. They know what I am thinking before I even think it and don’t have to ask questions. She thinks of me when she’s out and about (A). I would do just about anything for my friends.
For work. The women I have around me at work bring smiles to my face and lift me up when I’m having a particularly difficult day. They ground me and I know I have their support. What I do isn’t always the best job in the world, but it is a positive space and good energy – for that, I am grateful.
For God. He will never leave me or forsake me; and that it something that I have held on to for years and years. He loves me unconditionally when I don’t deserve it. He provides and takes care of my needs so that I don’t have to worry about anything.
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice.” Phil. 4:4
Always be thankful, in everything.