I was mulling over how annoying the whole car situation was in my head while I was trying to sleep; and one phrase kept repeating itself – it’s the principle.
I head this in my head and said it out loud so many times a few months ago when I was experiencing major stresses over wedding planning. Every situation that made me upset, my immediate thought was, it doesn’t matter why; it’s the principle!‘
It was at that point only weeks before the wedding that I came to realization that really it wasn’t the principle of the situation that mattered. I couldn’t drive myself to the edge of a breakdown every time, stressing and obsessing over it; especially when God was using those hard times to show me how much I needed him always. I had to move beyond that principle and focus on the opportunity presented to me. Instead of putting my foot down and being stuck, I chose to love.
I prayed earnestly that God would help me to love, particularly because it was so easy to hate and be angry. Now, I know that I could have done a much, much better job at loving those whom I felt were causing me stress (sometimes it was everyone, really); but at that moment, I really think it was the best that I could do.
Truthfully, I’m still working on it. Showing love – when the easiest thing for me to do is shake my head because I feel like I am right – is a slow transition for me. Even though I have this attitude even with my husband, I am thankful that we have such a relationship where I can see when I am wrong and see his side of things too. Thinking about it now, that’s probably why it’s so hard for me to stop myself and choose love with everyone else – because I have to be right.
(I might edit and add to this later when it isn’t almost 4 am…)