[Bitter]sweet Dreams

I had a dream about my grandmother the other night – the second dream within a week actually. She wasn’t in this dream, but I was talking about her. We were running a school-type thing out of the corner store, and I had a group of children that I was teaching. I took them into what remained of my grandmother’s garden, and I was telling them about how beautiful and full it used to be. I was remembering the lusciousness and the overwhelming presence of all the flowers. I told them about how the flowers bloomed bigger than my head and about her huge smile when she was in that happy place, her safe place. I cried in my dream, remembering all of that and missing her. She wasn’t even there.

She was there in my first dream though (which just so happened to be like a Chinese death day that my grandfather talked about at a FND). I held her hands and crouched down to talk to her. She was small, but she looked healthy. We were at an outdoor thing with food stands and a crowded eating area. She sat on a lawn chair beside my grandfather. I held her hands and told her I was glad that she could make it and asked her what she wanted to eat. She told me my uncle was already in line getting her food.

I wish I could remember how her hands felt in mine. I wish I could walk in that garden again. I wish she could see my house and be here when we eventually have babies to watch them grow. I wish she could sit at the table with us at dinner. I feel like we all really need a hug from her. I pray that she is happy and taken care of in heaven. I know that God has taken away all her pain and illness.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. – Revelation 21: 3&4

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