TTC

Drafted blog post about my first pregnancy.

April 4, 2016

It’s been almost a month since I stopped taking birth control…and my period still hasn’t come yet.

I know that it could take a little while, and it’s normal for it to take a few months even for my hormones and body to get back on track; but I’d kinda hoped (and expected) my body to get itself into gear by now.

I’m feeling slightly disappointed in my body. But it is all in God’s plan. This will be a blessing from Him in his time. Maybe LG and I are rushing into this, and God knows what we need before giving us a baby.

All in his timing. With his guidance.

We’re trusting him and give him all control.

April 7, 2016

The day after I wrote all that ^^ up there, I got my period; and what a period it’s been.

I didn’t have my period for months before the wedding. The doctor said it was due to stress from the wedding drama llama. I finally got my period a month before the wedding, and then I started the pill. So really, I haven’t had a good period in a while.

It’s been heavy and I’m all achy and crampy. What fun… But that just means that my body is healthy and ready and fit to carry a life, right? I’m starting to think that I might be one of those women who is sick for like the whole pregnancy, especially if I feel this icky during just a period.

We’re praying that God readies my body and blesses us with a child – one who will grow to know him and love him.

April 15, 2016

But did you know there are only six* days you could get pregnant? What is that??

How did I go my entire life thinking that any time you have unprotected sex you could get pregnant? All the research I’ve done, all the talks I’ve had with people who have had babies, all the conversations with women who have to take a few extra steps to make it happen; it all just completely wipes out what I’ve known about baby making.

Really though, the egg is only there ONE day. ONE DAY!! The other days that you “could get pregnant” are only counted because some sperm can live up to five days (so the five days that it could live and potentially meet your egg). Still, you don’t even know when you actually ovulate and or when the egg is there!

I don’t know.

April 28, 2016

I think I ovulated yesterday, but who knows really. I had some cramping on my right side – something familiar to me. I never used to feel it there before, but the last year or so it’s become regular that pain. I was worried about it before, but because the pain would never really last that long I just left it – diagnosing myself with ovulating cramps. But this time, I actually looked it up on the internet and tried to figure it out…was it really from my egg releasing?

That’s when I really felt the pressure. Up until this point, we were just shooting blindly, guessing when I was fertile or ovulating (I got my information online and used the dates that women usually ovulate and from the little dates marked on my period app). But yesterday, my body was actually telling me it was time. And now we don’t know what happened in there. We won’t know for a while since it takes a few days for implantation to occur after conception.

So now I guess it’s time for the two week wait that I keep reading about online.

I know I’m stressed about it because I broke down hard this morning. I was in a horrible mood and I just cried and cried like in a movie, just sobbing my head off. I think I scared LG quite a bit. Bad timing too since he was getting ready for work. But he just held me and let me cry even though he had no idea why I was so upset. Honestly at that point, I didn’t know what had gotten me there either.

We have been praying really hard, not just for a baby but that God continues to give us peace and that he will calm our restless hearts. We have to remember to trust in him and that he will bless us with a child when it is the right time. We can’t just rush into this wanting a baby and forcing our will. This is about bringing a new life and giving God control so that one day we will be able to raise up a child of God who loves him and live to give him glory.

Like I said only a few weeks ago, and like I should be reminding myself always:

All in his timing. With his guidance.

We’re trusting him and give him all control.

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