January 1st, 2017, 4:00 AM
I can’t sleep – which is often the catalyst of many posts on this blog.
LG and I had a really nice new year’s eve. We slept in. He watched his show. We went for a walk in the snow (on the ground, not in the air). We had leftovers and then cuddled for some Netflix on the couch. And then I napped (probably why I’m not sleeping now); he watched more of Once Upon a Time while doing the laundry. When I woke up, we finished up the leftovers and started on some oatmeal cookies. I told myself that 2017 was going to be the year that I learn how to bake to success…but halfway through I wasn’t having it anymore and gave up the reigns to LG. We rang in the new year, finished up the cookies, and then scrolled through some old photos from when we first started dating. He passed out, and I’ve been rolling around for hours.
I’ve been thinking about the whole idea of a new year, new me/fresh start. I have never been one for new year’s resolutions, but after the year we’ve had – our first year of marriage – I just feel like we need to devise a plan and be strategic. The plan last year was to be married; that’s all, but I wanted to remember our first days/months of marriage.
I tried posting every day. Even though it got a little boring after a while, when I look back at those posts I can see the little things that made each day a little different from the last. I went back to the post that was supposed to ‘start it all’. I had written a little play-by-play run-on paragraph of our day, but even still those memories are a bit faded.
I was doing really well, if I do say so myself, but I got pregnant…and it got harder to write about my days when I couldn’t blog about the pregnancy yet. I had the miscarriage soon after, and it was even harder to write; and then I had another miscarriage. You kind of know how it goes from there if you’ve been reading along.
- A laser-focus on God: how he is working in our lives individually and how he is working in our marriage. We were given this plaque (of sorts) as a Christmas gift with the names of different couples in the Bible – and our names. I remember looking it over and thinking, “This is such a good reminder that God works in couples’ lives; how encouraging to think that just as God worked in their lives he is also always working in our’s”. I think it has to be one of my favourite gifts ever…but I digress. I brought up the gift, because it inspired us into a new direction in terms of Bible study. As an encouragement and reminder, we will study the stories of these couples and how God worked in their lives and through them. I’m really excited about it.
- Try to stick to a budget: we’ve been budgeting our lives for a good two years now, but that budget was always more of a ‘let’s see how and where we spend our money’ rather than a ‘we have this and this and this to pay for so this is what we have left to use or save’. It’s a good year for us to start that mentality, I think. It’s always been in the back of our minds, but with planning a wedding and buying a house and really settling in to a routine…I think we’re just about on track.
- [Informal type of] Inventory of house stuff: toiletries, cleaning supplies, pantry items, and the like. For example, I’d be out at the dollar store and see a bunch of sponges and think to myself it wouldn’t hurt to have a few extra around the house; and then I’d get home and see that I’d had that exact thought the last time I was at the store and now we have a gajillion sponges! So we have a little white board (that was supposed to be used for menu planning, but hah that didn’t go so well) that we’ll keep a list of stuff we have. Every time we bring something down, we’ll mark it on the list; and every time we bring something up to use, we’ll wipe it off. Or something like that, whatever works best. We could always just do a spreadsheet on the computer, but then what will we write on the white board?
- Go with the flow: The doctor has written a referral for me to go get testing done at the infertility clinic. We will wait for that appointment and then do those tests. Meanwhile as per my grandfather’s advice, we will just have fun, don’t think so much about getting pregnant, just let it happen. I’m also going to work really hard on my triggers. I don’t know how the rest of January will be. I was supposed to be due mid-late January. I don’t dwell on that idea, but it comes to me every so often out of no where and knocks the wind right out of me. Pregnancy announcements, baby bumps, births…I don’t know how I’m going to deal with all that. Then July (when I would have been due with my second pregnancy) will come around, and it’ll start all over. I don’t know. I’ll work on it.
- Family: Our family dynamics have been changing constantly – both sides of my family and his too. It’s just a lot of change, and our gut instinct is to try to make a way for things to be just like they used to be…but I really don’t think it’ll work like that anymore. I don’t know how it’ll look from now on, but I know it has to be different. No one really teaches you about those kinds of transitions – where the children become adults of their own. How do you keep one big family together when everyone is growing their own lives? I guess like the branches of a tree (ooooh, so poetic at 5 AM), we all come together at one point. For a lot of families, that point is a love that puts family first; for other families, we are held together by the love of God.
- Potato Lifestyle: In our regular routine, LG leaves before 6 in the morning and comes home anywhere between 5 and 8 – depending on the workload for the day and on traffic. Last year, we ‘saved’ a lot of the stuff we wanted to get done for the weekends. We’d like to be able to make the most out of our evenings, other than dinner and unwinding from the day. We’ll probably start off small – maybe a short walk after dinner (my grandmother used to always take walks in the evening). I know we can’t do a lot; his days are already so long. Just something small and new and different from last year.
2016 was our first year of marriage (minus the end of November and December 2015). We did pretty well, if I do say so myself. We had a few months of just us, learning how to live and be together on our own. We had highs and hopes. We had lows, but tried our hardest to hold on to those hopes and to our God. We’re closer. We trust each other. We are so good together, by the grace of God. I am thankful every day that this man is my husband.
We did good.