Timing

About a year and a half ago around my 26th birthday, I’d had a sudden realization that I was getting old. By my calculations if we held off any longer, I could be nearly 30 by the time we had a baby. That would not do, and I told LG, “I don’t want to be 28 when the baby comes.”

…and so our naive, ignorant, innocent, narrow-minded TTC journey began.

My birthday is in March. I bought my first bottle of Materna, and we started to get on with the baby making. In May 2016, we found out I was pregnant for the first time.

One cycle.

Easy. Peasy. Lemon. Squeezy.

We told everyone in our family. We planned pregnancy announcements. I queued up blog posts. We were so ready for January to come around to grow our family and finally meet our baby. We hadn’t even had an ultrasound yet. All we had were two lines, but that was enough.

That loss broke me – more than I think I even knew at the time. But LG and I came out of it by the strength of our God.

That happened in July. My body took some time to recuperate. My heart took some time to heal. And a few cycles later, we found out we were pregnant again in November 2016.

No way could it happen again to us. This was our time to meet our rainbow baby not to meet another loss.

I don’t remember who we told, but I remember the day we saw those positive tests that I was so hopeful – and immediately after mind-numbing, soul-crushing fear. Honestly, our second pregnancy is a bit of a blur. It went by so quickly because I asked for the ultrasound right away, and from there it ended almost as soon as it started. We didn’t even have time to look forward to our July due date.

By the end of 2016, we’d suffered two losses.

Halfway though 2017, we’ve lived through two due dates.

But now, we’ve also seen my body fall pregnant a third time. We’ve seen a life forming inside my body.

We’ve seen a little heart beat.

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And even though we’re living this day by day and week by week to see week 13 right now; this is the first time we can ask you to look forward with us to meeting our little rainbow baby in February 2018.

…just before my 28th birthday – what a sense of timing God has, eh?

 

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